If I were the Lucky One

Gue nonton beberapa film minggu ini, tapi ada 2 film yang menimbulkan deep thinking di hati gue. Kedua film itu adalah "Oliver Twist" versi lama (diperankan Elijah Wood) dan "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Ke dua film itu temanya ialah ada anak kecil yang mengalami hidup menderita, namun sebenarnya mereka sangatlah beruntung, jikalau mereka bisa melihat ke masa depan hidup mereka. Jikalau saja mereka tahu bahwa hidup mereka akan berubah dimasa depan, pastilah mereka menjalani hidup dengan sukacita akan apa yang ada di depan.

Gue seringkali mengeluh tentang kehidupan gue. Gue sering mengaggap diri gue sebagai loser. If only gue bisa lihat ke depan. If only I were the lucky one.

But I'm lucky if I see the future.

Why? Because I have Jesus.

Gue pernah nulis ini di masa lalu:

I lacked of love. I lacked of somebody to whom i can learn about life. I lack a person who will be my protector and provider. I like the figure of manhood in my life. I lacked of a father-to-son love in my life. I wanted all love and care from a father, but my flesh father cannot fit the place. So, i cried then, I said, Father God, Would you be my father forever? and i can hear my Heavenly Father said unto me, yes my son. I lacked of attention and friendship. I lacked of person to whom i can share my deepest heart cry with. I lacked of person i can trust fully with all my secrets. i lacked of person who will accept me just the way, supporting and not critizising. I lacked a best friend. Then I spoke to the Holy Ghost. I said, Holy Spirit, would you be my friend forever? and i can hear him saying, yes, no doubt for it. I lacked of love, the gentle touch from somebody who fully love me. I lacked of love and all of its romance and care. I lacked of a lover. someone who will love me to death. someone who will always be with me no matter what happen. Someone where our soul will attached unbreaking. Then, i looked at Jesus. I said to him, would you be my lover forever?

Berikut salah satu lagu favorit gue:

Kusuka berada dekat-Mu Ya Bapa
Tempat Perlindungan yang teguh
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Curahkan smua isi hatiku
Selain Kau tiada yang lain
Yang ada padaku di surga
Hanya Engkau yang kuingini
Skalipun dagingku dan hatiku habis lenyap
Kaulah Allah bagianku selamanya